About two weeks ago now one of our neighbor's had a baby. It's pretty neat because Anthony is friends with their little boy who is about a little younger. They get along great. They've been great about letting Anthony hang out and see the baby. He's quite taken with him.
It was pretty amazing because the baby was born 3 weeks early and was 7lbs 3 oz. And he was healthy and happy. Big baby! They said if he had gone to full term he would have been about 10 Lbs. Holy moly, I can't imagine.
Anywho, since Anthony has been hanging out over there he's been bringing up a lot of questions about his brother. He wants to know how big he is/was, and why he didn't get to hold him (I still struggle with that one, but I did what I thought was best at the time). This morning he even asked if we can sing Happy Birthday to him on his birthday. And, "Oh yeah, when is his birthday?"
Lots of questions. I'm doing my best to answer them all. Sometimes I don't know the answer, so I just share how I feel. In simple terms of course. Like we could bake a cake and sing Thomas Happy Birthday. And I shared with him how big he was by demonstrating with a doll that was about the same size. I keep feeling like I want to save him from the pain of death and what it involves. But it is a reality and part of life. I can't save him from it, nor anyone else. He's very concerned about dying and going to Heaven. Sometimes out of the blue he'll just say something like "I don't want to go to Heaven." He can't explain why he feels that way, but I think it might have something to do with him missing his brother. Like if he goes to Heaven he won't be able to see me and daddy and Anneliese, but he knows he'd get to see his brother. Again, I try to explain things in simple terms so he will have a better understanding. Perhaps it will just take time and maturity.
Things have been weighing heavily on my shoulders with my fertility. With little signs of being fertile, charting is hard to do at times. It's been months since I've had a cycle that I could actually read. And I wasn't very good about charting while Keving was gone. Shame on me. It's very frustrating. No I'm not pregnant. I've checked. Thanks for asking. We're hoping to wait a while because we're supposed to move to North Carolina in March. I'd rather not be pregnant and driving cross country. And unload a truck alone again. (I just KNOW that would happen!) My hormones are allll messed up from the thyroid treatment as well. *sigh* I'm going to get in contact with my local teaching couple and see if they can help me out a bit with things.
Maybe ya'll could include us in your prayers. I don't know for what exactly...Maybe clarity? That's always helpful:) And maybe some wisdom in being a good mom to my kids when they have questions. Thank you!
Add-in: I figured out why I was feeling so incredibly yucky and having so many excruciating headaches for about a month. My anti-depressant prescription ran out, and I thought I'd give it a go without.Well, this air-head didn't realize that it was a narcotic which my body would go into withdrawal from. Cold turkey, not so good. Feeling much better now though.