tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163310392024-03-13T01:33:04.009-07:00...Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.comBlogger893125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-65178246487445797642012-07-07T21:09:00.005-07:002012-07-07T21:09:53.493-07:00I was called Prudish!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Heaven help us...someone called me prudish! Can you imagine?!<br />
(Can you feel my sarcasm? :) <br />
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Here's what happened...Some ladies I know were going to see Magic Mike. If you don't know it, you aren't missing anything important. Anyway, I had seen a preview and was horrified. I felt a natural inclination to turn my face away even during the commercial. That should tell you something about it right there. It's a movie all about male strippers, and from what I've heard it should have a rating of more than R. So anyway, on to what happened. I turned down an invitation to go see it. I wasn't rude, or judgmental about it towards anyone. I just stated that I'd rather do something else. "Oh, don't be such a prude, Celeste."<br />
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I couldn't even think of a response. And even now I can't think of something graceful to say really, except that I don't believe I need to be looking at a man in such a way that this movie wants you to and encourages you to.<br />
<br />I'm married, and I take my <i>covenant/sacrament</i> very seriously. It's taken me a long time to learn the seriousness of this covenant and I'm doing my best to live up to my end of it. <br />
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Here is an excellent insight into more about Magic Mike from <a href="http://www.thewarriorwives.com/2012/07/when-did-discretion-go-out-of-style.html">Warrior Wives</a>. It's worth taking the time to read her blog entry for a more in depth look into why I felt the need to say <b>no</b> to seeing the movie. <br />
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I'm not always good with explanations but she does an excellent job of saying what I feel in my heart. <br />
<br /></div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-6499136479396043542012-05-26T11:27:00.000-07:002012-05-26T11:27:53.950-07:00Guests, and guessing!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So there are two things I would like to share about today.</div>
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1) Having guests over. </div>
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2) From the outside, looking in. </div>
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Both of these things can have unexpected results. </div>
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I will start with the idea of having guests over to my home.<br />
The idea of sharing time and talk and food with someone is a lovely idea. I love having good conversation. I love serving good food. The idea of "community" is a desire we all have, I think. What happens, though, is something quite unexpected. Here I'm going to share something I don't share with much of anyone, but it explains a lot. And I suppose this might be taken the wrong way. But please, it's not about you! It's about our coping mechanisms :) <br />
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My children's high needs aside, I myself struggle with social anxiety, panic attacks, and some other symptoms that might be associated with the Autistic Spectrum. I can almost see your eyes glazing over now. And that's why I hesitate to share with anyone. There's nothing wrong with me, just as there is nothing wrong with my children. I just struggle for what <i>you</i> might consider "normalcy". Over the years, due to life circumstances, I've come to hide my struggles well, push them aside and put on a smile for the world, and get on with things! It's actually been very good for me in that it has forced me out of my comfort zone and into those situations, like with guests, where I must go outside my own head and learn social norms. Perhaps that is why I seem slightly weird at times, or say things that might be taken as offensive or improper. Sometimes my filter misses! :)<br />
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So anyway.<br />
I love having guests over, and so do my children. However, the aftermath can be quite a struggle. My children, and myself, often have to "recover" from social interaction. We might each go off and close the door to a room to be alone. A grouchy attitude might take over the household for a bit while we all struggle to accept that we had to "act right" for the world. Not that we are weird when no one is around, but the filters can be put aside, questions can be addressed about why people act a certain way, meltdowns can be let out. It takes an extra effort for my high needs household to function normally after guests. Guests are rare! Not because we aren't kind to them, or because we can't have fun, but because the effort can be quite exhausting. We thrive on routine, even if the routine seems vague. <br />
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Now the second part of this is about looking at my/our situation from the outside and guessing about things. Educated guesses can be a good starting point. However, I've run into quite a few situations recently where someone is just guessing that I'm a bad parent because of how I "let" my child/ren act. Others might be thinking, "Better you than me! That little one is crazy....". Indeed it can seem crazy. Exhausting. Overwhelming. Just as it's overwhelming to put on social norms, it can also be overwhelming trying to hold my tongue about people who don't get it, don't care to get it, or just think they can do a better job. Oddly enough, society doesn't send you to parenting classes prior to having children. Oh, yes, they are out there. But <b><i>"I'm never going to be one to need them because my children will be well behaved, normal, disciplined little people who will act just so." </i></b>(I wish you all the best!) Often times, in fact most of the time, it's not something that you can control. Your children are separate entities from you. They grow and gain independence. You can teach them and give them good example all you want, <b>but ultimately they must choose</b> to behave accordingly. Even high needs children with Aspergers, etc. They can still choose. They just must understand clearly <b><i>why</i></b>. <br />
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I tell you that I have learned <b>so much</b> patience and understanding from my children. They are sincere in their curiosity. They are not trying to push buttons (most of the time) by acting out, or regressing inwards. They are coping in their own way and it's just slightly less common than what you might find elsewhere, I suppose. I do my best to give clear and concise instruction, to teach with understanding and openness to what they might experience out in the real world, but with firmness and educated answers. (Boy, do I do a lot of reading. These little people have so many questions! I was never that way as a child, I just took everything at face value.) <br />
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I feel privileged to be their parent. It's a growing experience for me. The knowledge I have gained from being their mom, and continue to gain, is an amazing gift. Things I would never have learned otherwise, to be sure. No doubt I struggle, and can seem cynical at times. Everyone needs a break now and then. Perhaps their needs from any other person would be misunderstood as just "bad behavior". But I see the prologue.<br />
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To be continued. </div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-84175641941085898942012-05-21T06:14:00.001-07:002012-05-21T06:14:05.891-07:00It's another day!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I took this picture, above, while laughing internally because it's just so comical. Two seconds later flower weeds were thrown at me. That's more like it! </div>
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I've been struggling a lot lately with the questions, "What does God want from me today? It's another day! Nothing has changed. Maybe I need to change my perspective?" Most likely the second question! </div>
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On with the day. </div>
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</div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-63087592803945055992012-05-16T06:20:00.000-07:002012-05-16T06:20:06.236-07:00Am I misunderstanding?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hang with me for a few minutes. I'm trying to figure something out in my head. <br />
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I read several books at a time about theology and scriptures and applying them to your life, etc. Just the other day I started reading an ebook by Sarah Mae called Frumps to Pumps. It's basically a book about getting up and getting dressed in the morning like you matter, taking time to acknowledge your value and that you need to make an effort. <br />
So at the beginning of the first chapter this is what she says;<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt;">"Here’s what I know for sure: I know that if you follow Jesus, then you are perfect,
right now, for </span><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt; font-style: italic;">eternity.
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt;">Wild, right? Can you even fathom that? Perfect? That’s what Jesus did for you,
and it’s a crazy mystery, especially seeing as we still sin. But yes, according to
Hebrews 10:14, if you are being sanctified (meaning you know and follow God),
you have been perfected for eternity. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"> </span>
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt;">This means that you don’t have to get there. You </span><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt; font-style: italic;">are </span><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12.000000pt;">there (in Heaven’s eyes)."</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;">I read and hear similar ideas from other Christian writers and speakers all the time, that you "don't have to get there" because Jesus' sacrifice fixed that for you. Basically all you have to do is live. But that bothers me. It implies that you don't have to do <b><i>anything</i></b>, you can just coast through life with a guarantee that you're going to heaven. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;">But scripture clearly says that you must run the race. Running a race means hard work, exercise, sacrifice, effort. No one is going to pop in and carry you to the finish line. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;">No where in scripture does it say that all you have to do is claim Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and then <b><i>you are done</i></b>. Many Protestants believe that salvation is a one-time act that offers absolute salvation, but I have a really hard time with that. Yes, Jesus died once for all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"> However, <i>Rom 5:1-2 says</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i> <span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand and rejoice in our </span><b style="color: #6fa8dc;">hope</b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> of sharing the glory of God.</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i> </i>It says <b>hope,</b> not "assurance". We have <b>hope</b>. That implies there is something required of you, an <i>action</i>. That also implies that if you neglect something then all the hoping in the world won't get you anywhere. I can hope and hope and hope to win the lottery, but if I don't buy a ticket on a continuous basis I'm most definitely not going to win. In Jas 2:14 is says, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i><br /> </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">What does it profit , my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him?</span> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;">That's pretty cut and dry! So obviously if you say you have faith then you are going to do something about it! Feed the poor, cloth the naked, visit the sick, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;">And then again in Jas 2:18, 26 it says, <i style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i style="color: #6fa8dc;">"Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith...For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so faith apart from works is dead." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: black;">Jesus also clearly told us that if we do not bear good fruit that tree will be "cut down and thrown into the fire. <b>Thus you will know them by their fruits</b>." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: black;">And then Matthew 7:19 says, </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven...</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;">There is a theme here. He never said "just say you believe in me and you are saved". He keeps giving us instructions that even after we believe in him to do something (see last passage!). And <b>THEN</b>, in Phil 2:12 it says,</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;"><i style="color: #6fa8dc;">Therefor, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, <b>work out your own salvation with fear and trembling</b>. </i> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;">Wait. What? Work it out? With <b>fear</b> and <b>trembling</b>? Fear and trembling implies I better seriously do some work to get to where I have <b>hope</b> that I am going? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;">So....maybe I'm not as perfect as Sarah Mae says after all. It sounds like I have work ahead of me. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></i></span><br />
</div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-12244632000523021432012-05-14T14:32:00.000-07:002012-05-14T14:32:57.582-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There was an article I was reading recently about parenting
children with specials needs that listed 5 things that are essential to
surviving. They are:<br />
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<li><i><b>Tolerance</b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Acceptance</b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Patience</b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Organization</b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Time for Yourself</b></i></li>
</ul>
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Even as I sit here writing this out, my little one has pulled
up the bottom of the sandbox again, spilling sand everywhere, beat the
dog with a soda bottle, upturned all the patio furniture, and dumped dog
food in his train table.<br />
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</b></i><br />
<i><b>I tolerate</b></i> him up turning things and
making messes because honestly you get tired of micromanaging to keep
things clean. I am lacking in all the areas listed above...But I do <b>TRY.</b> <br />
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<i><b>I accept</b></i>, and practice <b>everyday</b> accepting. There are times when I get beyond crazy, when one after another
troublesome thing happen, and I start crying in my head so I won't
scream at the poor child. In those moments I've started to pray and
remember that God made me this child's mother because he thought I would
be best in some way. Then search within myself to rustle up some more
acceptance of the situation. The other thing I do is spiritually throw
myself at the foot of the Cross and beg God for help. It sounds
desperate, but in those situations sometimes I <b>feel desperate</b> for help. <br />
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<b><i>I try to be patient</i></b> as he grabs at me to
hold him while I clean up his messes, or when he tells me he popped the
pool with my car keys that he took out of my purse that I had put on top
of the refrigerator so he wouldn't steal them again.<br />
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<i><b>Organization</b></i>. All I can say is...I try. It's hard
to do. We have a morning routine, and an evening routine. What happens
in between usually consists of me repairing destroyed furniture, walls,
clothes, toys, cleaning up one room at a time, or making sure everyone
has clean clothes to wear. I just finished filing papers that had been collecting on the counter for the last 6 months. You get the idea. <br />
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<i><b>Time for yourself</b></i>. I'm not sure I have anything to
say with regards to time to myself. It's important. Numerous people have
pointed out its importance. It's hard to come by. Especially with my
husband away and not having the extra funds for a babysitter. I usually
take little moments out of the day for myself. I listen to some
devotions while I make the kids lunches. I read a paragraph of a book
while I brush my teeth. I pray in the shower. I close the door to my
room until I can't hear kids making noise, or until they come banging
and crying at the door. I guess I could say...<b>It's a nice idea. </b><br />
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At any rate, I feel that each of those things could use some work. I could take more time to think before I act. Or to think ahead at how I can react. <b>I'm a work in progress. </b>No matter who you are, or what your situation, I'm sure these themes could apply to your life as well.<br />
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<br /></div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-20418692171399144852012-04-26T11:38:00.002-07:002012-04-26T11:38:18.446-07:00A money saver for you!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-74676414951762431742012-04-18T06:20:00.003-07:002012-04-18T06:37:34.364-07:00I'm venting, so hold on.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzzPC7jyuUnKGLv9E_RGG4E5wcvIfJUS2wPJkwQIER0ko6i3u8OKNRv7jBUmige9h-jaIBRDzkEyupjvEidfwAexPdz3wexN-igORf215nvSLrqxR_NKvVGTTX4aZM7mP_G1D/s1600/calling-me-mom_rect-170x170.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 170px; height: 170px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzzPC7jyuUnKGLv9E_RGG4E5wcvIfJUS2wPJkwQIER0ko6i3u8OKNRv7jBUmige9h-jaIBRDzkEyupjvEidfwAexPdz3wexN-igORf215nvSLrqxR_NKvVGTTX4aZM7mP_G1D/s320/calling-me-mom_rect-170x170.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5732731911165972930" border="0" /></a><br />Don't take it too seriously. Some times I need to just get it out!<br /><br />Some day's can be a challenge with an Aspie who doesn't understand why you haven't completed all the tasks on your to-do list, including running his errands or doing what he considers necessary. I have no excuses. I have reasons. Mom needs to be able to take a moment to catch her breath too.<br /><br />Between chasing the 2 year old off the top of the fridge and trying not to get disconnected on the phone with the doctor again...No I didn't pack your lunch this morning! Really...anxiety over not packing lunch. To a normal person this would seem ridiculous. But. There's the but. I know the anxiety is really about having to go in the lunch line, which is not routine, and make decisions quickly which he's not good at doing at all. Sometimes I just want a little give-way.<br /><br />Needless to say, his lunch got packed two minutes before the bus arrive.<br /><br />When I am tired I get unreasonable in expecting certain things from my kids that I know they aren't capable of. They aren't good at spur of the moment stuff, large social settings, changes in routine, or expectations that might be normal to some. I have days where I just want things to go "my way". I'm laughing as I write that because nothing ever goes my way. I'm not sure you get used to things never going the way you want, but rather you learn to tolerate it as part of how your life goes with high needs kids. Rigidity and routine. You learn to go along rather than rock the boat. Storms are not fun. There is always clean up afterwards.<br />~<br /><br />Ok. On with the day!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-68586562490498412222012-03-15T10:46:00.002-07:002012-03-15T11:27:13.498-07:00Being a missionary in my own home.<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh-wC8Dqu0LY-u9nevdehBa7yu0-N0vUz9JsMXcCOZGSEQvIfkDwIJy7I_N-WoSzuE_BJRND4kYZITEH9CFJghqCqXV-I9YXcPM1aa9JX8cAPxcadbjxDB-EhKf_txdY_a6b6D/s1600/dogfood.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh-wC8Dqu0LY-u9nevdehBa7yu0-N0vUz9JsMXcCOZGSEQvIfkDwIJy7I_N-WoSzuE_BJRND4kYZITEH9CFJghqCqXV-I9YXcPM1aa9JX8cAPxcadbjxDB-EhKf_txdY_a6b6D/s320/dogfood.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5720182092459483346" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” – Blessed Mother Teresa</span><br /><br /></div> When you think of a missionary a few things pop into your mind; building houses, digging wells, providing food and water for the hungry, clothes for the naked, preaching the gospel with our actions and then with our words if situations call for it. As a young woman I thought I was being called to the contemplative life. I could pray, I prayed all the time. I could quietly move from one activity to another, just doing my duty and minding my own business. I always looked at the missionaries with awe and a feeling of "there is NO way I could be that/do that/be called to that".<br /><br /> The funny thing is being older, looking at my life, my children, my situation here with these people God has put in my life and feeling like, "Oh my gosh, I <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">am</span> a missionary!" I am called to do all those things in my family, with my children, with my husband, with people I meet. And I'm called to teach them to be the same way as well. Mother Teresa, the ultimate missionary if ever there was one, was so amazing in saying that we should do small things with great love. It's those things that can make the biggest difference sometimes. My children need all those things from me. My husband needs my prayers, my help running our home and raising our children, he needs my example of how to live a Christian life because he didn't grow up with a clear knowledge of what that is. (This is <span style="font-weight: bold;">all</span> so daunting to me, and I feel superiorly under-qualified most days).<br /><br /> I'd like to talk about doing those things, those missionary works, and when we least feel like doing them. We are the masters of our body, but so often our body (and our mind at times), does not want to cooperate in those works. I don't <span style="font-style: italic;">feel</span> like cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, doing laundry, reading to the kids, saying prayers over/with a screaming child. "I don't <span style="font-style: italic;">feel</span> happy when I am doing" them, you might say to yourself one day when you have gotten little sleep and little ones are uncooperative. The thing is that those things still need to be done. Your work does not end just because you are tired, crabby, cranky, over worked, underpaid, or feeling unappreciated. That is the time when the real work begins...in <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">you. </span>I believe that often times our missionary work is not so much about what we are doing for others (although those things are good and we should do them because Our Lord asked us to do them), but that some work is being done in <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">us</span> as we do them. We are being taught to love, by practicing love. Jesus begged the Father to not let him go through his impending death, but he still picked up his cross and marched on even when he kept falling because he <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">loves</span> us.<br /><br /> The thing is, love isn't about doing what you feel like doing all the time. Love isn't about having that "feeling" all the time. Real love, being a real missionary, is doing what is right because you know it's right and you know it's true. Those things together let you see the beauty in your everyday life...if you pay attention. Your seemingly meaningless tasks of missionary work are <span style="font-weight: bold;">Great</span> because you practice love when you do them most especially when you don't want to.<br /><br /> I don't wear a habit, I don't dig wells, or do extraordinary things. I do the small things because practicing love makes them big things. Practicing love when you don't <span style="font-weight: bold;">feel</span> love...well, that's real love in my eyes.<br /><br />Now...I'm going to go clean up that dog food all over my porch. Definitely not because I want to, but because I'm practicing love (<del> <span style="font-style: italic;">by taking a time out away from my child so I don't yell at him for using dog food as confetti.<del> </del></span>)<br /><br /></del>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-50292176720637165002012-02-08T16:50:00.000-08:002012-02-08T17:16:41.651-08:00Its the small things.By now I should get it. You'd think.<br />~~~<br />Over the last few days of the kids and I being sick I've been pouring myself into researching into some of Matthew's behaviors. Allergies were first off my list. That's an easy one, I guess you could say. Cutting out sugar and all that has helped tremendously with his behavior. He's a much nicer person. But....There are still all the other things that make me feel like I'm losing my mind 24 hours a day. I've narrowed it down to perhaps a Sensory Processing Disorder.<br /><br />I came across a forum with led me to a website that is all about treating and helping diagnose it. They had a 3 page checklist to help you determine if this might be something your child struggles with. Out of the 100 or so items listed I checked at least 70 of them. It'll be going with me to the doctor. I got more than a little frustrated with telling his pediatrician something is going on with him and having it poopoo'd. Twice. So I called the advice nurse and had a lengthy conversation with her about it, and she couldn't recommend much to me in the way of figuring out where to go for help. She suggested going to Anthony's behavioral specialist. If that's what it takes...I suppose that's where I will head next.<br />~~~<br />We've gotten fairly used to his outbursts, dangerous behavior, lack of empathy, senseless mean behavior. Lately he's taken to pulling my hair (out) when he's mad\frustrated. I'm not sure what this accomplishes for him, and I know he's just mad and doesn't know what to do with his anger. But the tearing the hair out of my head thing...yeah, not so nice. I should know better than to wear things around my neck that he can grab onto, because you better believe he will do the same thing.<br /><br />Selfishly I keep wearing necklaces. Over the last few years I've not been able to wear earrings due to an allergy to the metals, (which in this case might be a really good thing), so I've taken to wearing bracelets and necklaces. It makes me feel good, ok. Don't judge. :) Anyway, I keep hoping maybe he'll see that they are special to me. Silly me. He doesn't think like that. He thinks, "What's that...it's different. I want it! PULL!", or he yanks out of anger or frustration. Beads go flying, clasps get broken. After three or four of them you'd think<span style="font-weight: bold;"> I'd</span> be the one to catch a clue.<br /><br />It really is a selfish thing of me to keep wearing them expecting him to catch a clue. I just want one small thing to be special, and to be mine, and to be left alone.<br /><br />I'm learning to let go of the small things. It hurts sometimes.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-56699316890990811802012-01-04T09:22:00.000-08:002012-01-04T12:54:46.039-08:00Cleaning up!Our diet that is.<br /><br />Having highly sensitive, highly needy kids it shouldn't surprise me that they're tummies, immune systems, and attitudes are sensitive as well. The thing is, for a minute you would just like to pretend that there is one thing that can be "normal". We all need to rethink what normal is though. What works for most or some should not be judged as the norm. Yes, I know majority rules. But when the the majority of my family has sensitivities....well, then sensitive is the norm because that is what my life is about--my family. That doesn't mean I'm not still working towards acceptance:)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRsP-P9jXfeLYzd_CBJSBXU_pBxZJwcLFoyLZiCIsgE7Cg7jk3VReNfzbojq0kx8JJbNiGm7xcdlbSY5at-Gii3Nk8sKVoKdf87tLtPKahZLY9jXkgJ_-boCRXKAOsS6moJ9-/s1600/4-up+on+2011-12-22+at+22.13.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRsP-P9jXfeLYzd_CBJSBXU_pBxZJwcLFoyLZiCIsgE7Cg7jk3VReNfzbojq0kx8JJbNiGm7xcdlbSY5at-Gii3Nk8sKVoKdf87tLtPKahZLY9jXkgJ_-boCRXKAOsS6moJ9-/s320/4-up+on+2011-12-22+at+22.13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693831635157087026" border="0" /></a><br />A few weeks ago I decided to try out an elimination diet of sorts. Honestly it was out of desperation. Our youngest, Matthew, was making us all feel neurotic. Constant outburst (seriously all day, from one thing to another), tantrums, fit throwing, object throwing, meanness, hair pulling, food pitching, wall climbing, door slamming, awake until 3 in the morning, no going out in public sort of neurotic. Everything was a fight. I know 2 year olds throw tantrums, etc. I've plenty of experience with that. This was just unreal, and we were ready to rip our hair out. The other two kids were feeling this way as well. We had tried everything as far as discipline. Nothing was working. The pediatrician didn't take me seriously. I knew something had to change, and all I knew to do was eliminate everything so at least we could rule foods out of the equation.<br /><br />The first thing to go--> sugar! Or as much of it as I could eliminate reasonably without clearing out all our cupboards and fridge. Doing just the little bit at a time has helped tremendously. Secondly, as much processed food as possible, and items with preservatives. Granted, I spend a lot more time thinking about food (which I really would rather not), but it's helped him calm down SO much just in the last few weeks. Those very simple things have made our life more bearable. He's actually changed from whacking you in the face when you lean to hug or kiss him, to hugging or kissing back, and being playful. Who knew there was a sweet (still busy trouble-maker) under those food poisons. Yup, to me they are poison because they make my baby be something other than who he really is. We're seeing that there is a nice, playful guy under there. We just had to find him! The effort is worth it.<br /><br />Granted, we have quite a ways to go, but the difference has been amazing. We'll keep going and see what happens.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-51013181120862956372012-01-03T05:25:00.000-08:002012-01-03T18:32:33.195-08:00Hello 2012How quickly life goes!<br /><br />I'm refraining from making resolutions for this year. Really, isn't the whole point to try to be a better you anyway? We're supposed to aim for that everyday. I figure more of the same is good. A concerted effort towards a better me, everyday, whatever that might be. Done!<br /><br />Since I last wrote Anthony has started back in school.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBLNFM7QTh5-ujIu9dSIvUbOksAklC13Jx2z4EXBvfgRQHOx4waHdC0YuZNfxj-450-_I1i6SMENMnQf1rvOTtW1Tv2QciNWtQrs9sNpXeAmWnWKoBBC5GzKVnD3n9klEtvijp/s1600/Christmas20115.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBLNFM7QTh5-ujIu9dSIvUbOksAklC13Jx2z4EXBvfgRQHOx4waHdC0YuZNfxj-450-_I1i6SMENMnQf1rvOTtW1Tv2QciNWtQrs9sNpXeAmWnWKoBBC5GzKVnD3n9klEtvijp/s320/Christmas20115.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693597147421307810" border="0" /></a> I was incredibly weary, stressed out, worried to tears, and feeling out of control about the whole thing. Knowing how difficult life can be for him sometimes, I was worried that it would not be feasible for him to go back into that environment without some trouble. But Kevin was insistent that it would be best for him to have some one else to help him, and me to have less stress from the constant fight it was to try to teach him and tend to our highly needy youngest. I prayed like crazy, and prayed that God would intercede as far as his teachers and friends went, that they would be what he needed. And I prayed that I could let go a little and have some peace. It's been a struggle for me to relax. It's been about a month and a half, and so far things seem to be going ok. He struggles to keep up, and to move quickly. That's always been something hard for him. He's doing great socially. For all the struggling we did here at home to get as much done in as little time possible...he's not far behind. And he seems to be catching up just fine. The teachers are being very accommodating. Thursday we meet with the teachers, Special Education Director and the Principal to put an individual education plan into effect. I have hope that it will be a good thing. They have his psychological evaluation, and now enough time spent with him in the classroom to help gauge what will work best for him. His teachers have been communicating well with me regarding his work and everything, and seem open to input so that is good.<br /><br />I'm finally able to relax a little and focus on entertaining Matthew. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQxl-BzLWhzlkx1XVTE7S2AxtJMcmK9mHPFA96MaFgcpBFbAFmWjoNzKGYrobHje4cYNQCe_oLe3VeBZDGn8H3nQcFJmJOc6wggSkptRhrUVdlAkmYfXvDpNXk6YO_8O8oV5J/s1600/DSC_1129.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQxl-BzLWhzlkx1XVTE7S2AxtJMcmK9mHPFA96MaFgcpBFbAFmWjoNzKGYrobHje4cYNQCe_oLe3VeBZDGn8H3nQcFJmJOc6wggSkptRhrUVdlAkmYfXvDpNXk6YO_8O8oV5J/s320/DSC_1129.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693596434865431586" border="0" /></a>He is super busy. He has to be kept busy to keep him out of trouble. It's a full time job! As any mommy will know, taking care of little ones is. He is like both Annie and Anthony combined, times 10. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDenmQMk8UxglU8q2WhHTBHy5-OqsasorXL0EAhpeAQ1H5xk7fQrEu_nyaYXIDYSRLe5VPA2sZzST2fhXUE18lyTgZmg10tdSOAJI9dXioBOC1InK2jaBaYoJFWt7WXt7Z7IfF/s1600/DSC_1128.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDenmQMk8UxglU8q2WhHTBHy5-OqsasorXL0EAhpeAQ1H5xk7fQrEu_nyaYXIDYSRLe5VPA2sZzST2fhXUE18lyTgZmg10tdSOAJI9dXioBOC1InK2jaBaYoJFWt7WXt7Z7IfF/s320/DSC_1128.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693596661951953666" border="0" /></a>With a gigantic dollop of trouble on top. But, at least knowing that the other two kids are doing ok at school helps me to relax enough to focus on having fun with him and not just trying to tolerate and work around him. I really enjoyed Christmas break and having them home, and miss them all day. The older two seem happy to be back into the swing of school, and Matthew is happy having me all to himself. He actually sat down for a minute, with a board book, and looked at it with me. That is HUGE. Usually, the pages get ripped/torn/broken and it goes flying across the room or at someone. Progress is good. He's also becoming more vocal about what he wants, and I don't even mind so much when he tells me, "No Mama," because it's become a statement and not so much an out of control reaction. I love it.<br /><br />Finding peace amidst the craziness, and loving it.<br />Happy New Year.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-44885526067917700592011-11-15T09:56:00.000-08:002011-11-15T10:37:16.336-08:00A day at a time.Each day is a challenge. It's challenges us each in a different way. I have to say I depend a lot on God's grace to get me through quite often. In so many ways I am deficient and unprepared for what life throws my way.<br /><br />We just recently received a diagnosis for Anthony. He has Aspergers. It's not suprising to me, it just has put a name to what I already know was there. And now I feel relief. Someone gave it a name and somehow set me free from feeling alone in dealing with how different/special the situation is. Special is the only word I can think of. It's not bad, but it's so difficult sometimes to get through the day just trying to get the things done that need to be done. A great majority of things take a lot of time because he can't just follow directions, you must oversee, explain again and again, and point out things until he sees it. And then start that all over again the next time the same act needs to be performed again....until after the 100th time he finally understands and makes it a routine. God forbid you mess up the routine once it's established though.<br /><br />To some degree I do feel that I have failed often because I get so tired and frustrated that I just say "Ugh, just let me do it!", and take over, letting him go back to the things he is obsessive over. I want him to succeed, but my patience runs thin. No one gave me an instruction manual for this situation, and so I just stumble through it all.<br /><br />I just found this:<br /><p style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> Dr Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician, originally described Asperger’s Syndrome in 1944. The syndrome has more recently been classified as an autistic spectrum disorder. Children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome have an intellectual capacity within the normal range, but have a distinct profile of abilities that has been apparent since early childhood. The profile of abilities includes the following characteristics:<br /><br /></p><ul style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><li>A qualitative impairment in social interaction: <ul><li>Failure to develop friendships that are appropriate to the child’s developmental level.</li><li>Impaired use of non-verbal behaviour such as eye gaze, facial expression and body language to regulate a social interaction.</li><li>Lack of social and emotional reciprocity and empathy.</li><li>Impaired ability to identify social cues and conventions.</li></ul> </li><li>A qualitative impairment in subtle communication skills: <ul><li>Fluent speech but difficulties with conversation skills and a tendency to be pedantic, have an unusual prosody and to make a literal interpretation.</li></ul> </li><li>Restrictive Interests: <ul><li>The development of special interests that is unusual in their intensity and focus.</li><li>Preference for routine and consistency.</li></ul></li><li>From the OASIS @ MAAP website.<br /></li></ul>It fits! I cried when I read all that. And there is more as well....<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The disorder can also include motor clumsiness and problems with handwriting and being hypersensitive to specific auditory and tactile experiences. There can also be problems with organisational and time management skills and explaining thoughts and ideas using speech. The exact prevalence rates have yet to be determined, but research suggests that it may be as common as one in 250. The aetiology is probably due to factors that affect brain development and not due to emotional deprivation or other psychogenic factors. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> The characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome described above are based on the diagnostic criteria and current research and have also been modified as a result of my extensive clinical experience. I would like to provide a personalised description of Asperger’s Syndrome that also incorporates the person’s qualities as well as their difficulties.</span><br /> <br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">... that children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of thinking. The person usually has a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people. There is also a different perception of situations and sensory experiences. The overriding priority may be to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others. The person values being creative rather than co-operative. The person with Asperger’s syndrome may perceive errors that are not apparent to others, giving considerable attention to detail, rather than noticing the ‘big picture’. The person is usually renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice. The person may actively seek and enjoy solitude, be a loyal friend and have a distinct sense of humour. However, the person with Asperger’s Syndrome can have difficulty with the management and expression of emotions. Children and adults with Asperger’s syndrome may have levels of anxiety, sadness or anger that indicate a secondary mood disorder. There may also be problems expressing the degree of love and affection expected by others. Fortunately, we now have successful psychological treatment programs to help manage and express emotions.</span><br /><br />We're finding out there's a lot of help out there-- therapy, counseling, support groups. That's such a huge thing...because I suspect that Matthew might need these things as well. His "symptoms" are more extreme than Anthony's. One at a time...Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-75379933613517442352011-10-22T03:51:00.001-07:002011-10-22T04:19:27.605-07:00Notes to my child.I can't believe it's been more than a month since I last wrote something down. Life has a way of carrying you away with it when you are not paying attention to things other than immediate needs.<br />My personal blog has become a less immediate need as of late.<br /><br />I wanted to write down an experience that happened yesterday. But I need to preface it first.<br />When we home-school we learn Scripture and a lot of our curriculum was faith based. I had a reason for that. My education was not faith based, being in public school, and most of my faith education was either self taught from books, or just from Sunday Mass. I don't recall attending many Catholic formation classes either. But we were very very Catholic! :) I'm so grateful for the seeds that were planted in me as a child. It's true--"Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it". Even as an adult we sometimes go "astray" from what we have learned as a child, but it still stays with us.<br /><br />That being said, my concerns for Annie entering public school were very concrete. She and I have done a lot of character building work together. I worried about influence, how she would be affected, how she would be when she came home, etc. Very real concerns, and with those I've seen some change in her behavior and attitude when she comes home. Nothing to be prized, to be sure. When you are amidst those of a very influential age, with little guide from a moral compass for 6 hours a day is it any wonder that attitudes will change? She has to survive after all. Think of Lord of the Flies. There are some adults so it doesn't get that extreme, but it all started it out subtly didn't it? Sadly for myself included, I bent under pressure sometimes as a child...most often just to get people to leave me alone and stop the harassment. We all have our weaknesses.<br /><br />Friday, after some thought, I printed out some ABC printable Bible Scripture Cards that I found over at icanteachmychild.com. (That is a great resource by the way!) Since day one of Kindergarten I have always put a note in her lunch box, reminding her that I love her or telling her that I hope she has a good day. Of all that goes on during her day, that is the one thing she can always remember and talks about with me later, that "I got your note, mom!" She can't tell me what she did all day, but she remembers the note. Fabulous! So I stuck the A card in her lunch box and sent her to school. When I went to pick her up, I waited to see if she would mention it. I watched as she marched out of the school in line, and smiled and waved for her to come. Her teacher-aide grabbed her before she could come over though, and I was worried that she had gotten in trouble. I couldn't hear what was being said, or see the teachers face, but I could see Annie's face and there was no response other than the look in her eye changed. When the teacher let her go (she smiled and waved to me) and Annie came over, I asked her if everything was ok/if she was in trouble for something. She said, "No, everything is fine. Ms.(Ican'trememberhername) says she liked your note and she loves Jesus, too."<br /><br />Look at that....<br />"Just a little note"...with a big impact.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-16872434920052657542011-09-12T13:15:00.000-07:002011-09-12T14:04:16.881-07:00The weather matches the day.It's dreary out, and dreary within as well.<br /><br />The day started out with the bus driver driving right past us and slowing down the street after she saw us, then she kept on driving. Nice! It's like people out here are missing a couple of screws. So I threw on some clothes and drove her to school real quick.<br /><br />When I got back I started Anthony on his school work, which went ok for all of about 5 minutes. He just went into shut-down mode. First he cries. Then he hides and cries. Then when things get really bad, he hides in his bed and cries and inevitably goes to sleep. Today he fell asleep and slept until 4 pm. I tried to wake him several times. He wouldn't speak to me. He wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't uncover his head. You can't even reason with him when he's like that. I want to help him but<span style="font-style: italic;"> he won't let me</span>. It's exhausting. So today I just let him sleep. I get tired. We go through this or something similar almost everyday. I don't want him to fail, I don't want him to feel bad, I don't want to embarrass him (which he tends to think I am doing). I just want to help. But I get worn down, and sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel. But that's not going to fix anything either! Soldier on. Pretend nothing happened? So hard. He tends to go from the depressed stage to perfectly fine in about 2.06 seconds. It makes me feel cookoo.<br /><br />As hard as it is the juggle the doctors appointments and the other kids, (Matthew is a whole other can of lets-see-if-mom-will-lose-it-today), I can't wait for this testing to get done. It will be such a relief to find out what is going on so I can get some help so that he can get some help.<br /><br />The other day I commented that I don't feel like I'm qualified for all this sometimes. Actually, most times. I just wing it. And read up on stuff. And ask for help, which tends to sound very desperate most of the time. You know sometimes you see a baby waving both their hands in frustration or desperation with a look of panic? That's it! I'm good at keeping it under wraps though. No need to freak anyone out. The downside to keeping it on the down-low...when I do let it out it sounds rather dramatic. I hate that. I hate drama. It's a catch 22. No one wants to hear about your stress, but you can't just hold it all in either.<br /><br />It's a balancing act which I am still figuring out....I'll let you know what I have arrived.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-57644221425667838812011-08-14T12:10:00.000-07:002011-08-14T12:45:50.796-07:00In the trenches!
<br />We're all hiding in the trenches lately. Seems that everyone is going through something these days, and it's no different for us. Like my title says, "lifes little adventures" are what it's all about.
<br />
<br />Today's little adventure starts here...
<br />Just now, I opened my inbox and found an email from someone called Citizen Atheist. I felt my defenses going up without even reading it. Someone found an ad for my Catholic Mom meetup group and decided to attack! I find it's best to sit back and chill out for a minute before responding to things that get your heckles up. You might say something out of line, or make a fool of yourself. (I do that quite often, but I'm getting used to it!:) This needed to be thought through. Perhaps this person really needs someone to talk to, rather than just be argumentative with.
<br />
<br />I don't go out preaching about my faith, (maybe I should, but I think I'm called to live it more than preach it). I don't argue with people. My nature is to be pretty passive. I try not to be preachy at people, as that doesn't get you far. I find that "Just the fact's, Ma'am" approach works well for me. You ask me a question, I will give you an answer. Direct and to the point.
<br />
<br />I took a minute and reread the email. It had to do with idolatry and Mary. Ok, I can handle this. It's a commonly misunderstood doctrine, and more often than not what the party in question is talking about actually has nothing to do with the truth of Catholic doctrine. In fact, very few people go so far as to actually read about what the Catholic faith teaches regarding Mary and praying to the saints. Quite often what is said is based on assumptions, and we all know where those can get us! This is the third time in a month I've been faced with the exact subject. I took that as a sign for me to read up! Good thing I've got my links and books already open to this subject don't you think? :) I find this is good for helping my children as well. I grew up with simple faith instruction, and am finding that my kids have lots more questions than I ever did as a child so it's great for me to be able to explain to them things, rather than just say " because that's what the church teaches".
<br />
<br />If you want to live something you have to know it, right? Well, if I want to be Catholic I need to know what it's all about. In one book I've been rereading (for like the 5th time), the author talks about how for hundreds of years the Church existed without the bible. What we know as the bible now was not put together until a long long long time after the apostles had died. Teachings were passed on by word of mouth and tradition. That's why "tradition" is referred to in Scripture...because there was no written word, the people were uneducated, and very few people could read. They learned by tradition and orally. (That's also why the Catholic faith believes that Sola Scriptura can't be the only way...because the Apostles themselves taught the faith without the written word. There is more to the faith which includes tradition, and which includes traditions that are handed down by the Apostles that were not recorded in Scripture.) And then lots of time went by and one of the councils decided "we need to put this all together so that everyone is getting the same thing", and so they put the bible together after much deliberation over what should actually go in it. There are books that were written that were excluded. Yup. And then when England broke from the Church by order of the King who decided he was the head of the church there, they took out some more of the bible. Did you know that? The Catholic bible actually has more books in it because it retains the ones that the King James bible excludes. Fascinating isn't it?
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<br />So much to learn!
<br />Anyway. Catholic's do not idolize Mary, or the saints. It's commonly misunderstood. This <a href="http://www.catholic.com/library/Do_Catholics_Worship_Statues.asp">link </a>takes you to an article explaining a little about what the Catholic Church teaches about "worshiping statues". And this <a href="http://www.catholic.com/library/Praying_to_the_Saints.asp">link</a> talks about praying to Mary and that saints.
<br />Just thought I'd put it down somewhere since it keeps coming up!
<br />Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-83782103805405195162011-07-05T09:54:00.001-07:002011-07-05T09:55:16.714-07:00St Elizabeth of Portugal<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHKHzE9xz4K3hKPYbnyKkWQmaapenHUSSf0nWFoc3mjgT1IzTyrkcmIZCeRdvYZnTL7sF5vUZIcWAIukJVreO-Z3wyrGk7PY_ZKQn-pq8V7WFd01I64jIO1gY7jx7xrzhzqPrb/s1600/StElizabethofPortugal.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 276px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHKHzE9xz4K3hKPYbnyKkWQmaapenHUSSf0nWFoc3mjgT1IzTyrkcmIZCeRdvYZnTL7sF5vUZIcWAIukJVreO-Z3wyrGk7PY_ZKQn-pq8V7WFd01I64jIO1gY7jx7xrzhzqPrb/s400/StElizabethofPortugal.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5625912698593148146" border="0" /></a><br />Click and print to share with your kids for coloring!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-18678226653275051572011-06-27T03:04:00.000-07:002011-06-27T03:43:49.897-07:00Seek peace and pursue it.<div style="padding-bottom: 2px; line-height: 0px"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/6064261/" target="_blank"><img src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/6064261_836vs8R8_c.jpg" border="0" width="497 height =" /></a></div><div style="float: left; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px;"><p style="font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;">Source: <a style="text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bismanphoto.com/coppermine/albums/userpics/10001/roadlandscape.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.bismanphoto.com/coppermine/displayimage.php%3Falbum%3D10%26pos%3D1&usg=___UQSHM4wX4pbtcmY6C6Gm2WwbCg=&h=332&w=497&sz=40&hl=en&start=0&sig2=gtMN-az2TG4mNXeB-d26dA&zoom=1&tbnid=Ekz-hdjczXX4YM:&tbnh=136&tbnw=177&ei=gQJiTafTG4yssAPrqdm9CA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlandscape%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2Bhighway%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1125%26bih%3D580%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=120&vpy=246&dur=1229&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=105&ty=74&oei=gQJiTafTG4yssAPrqdm9CA&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0">google.com</a> via <a style="text-decoration: underline; font-size: 10px; color: #76838b;" href="http://pinterest.com/currurbelle/" target="_blank">currur</a> on <a style="text-decoration: underline; color: #76838b;" href="http://pinterest.com/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a></p></div><br /><br />The past week or so has been full of stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff, frustrating stuff, boring stuff. I won't bother you with the details. It's made me very tired, not so much physically (although that too), but my mind is tired.<br /><br />Yesterday I had to make a trip to Wilmington to pick up some fabric, and I was listening to an interview with Pope Benedict. He touched on many subjects which are very important to people right now. It was excellent. But what struck me amidst it all was when he spoke about "going on". The interviewer was asking specifically about whether he believes there is a time for the Pope to offer his resignation. The holy father said that yes there is a time for that, when he feels that he cannot do what is being asked of him, or that his mental or physical abilities are not allowing him to fulfill his role. But, just because something is difficult that does not mean that it is time to resign. Rather this difficult time is a time to go on and to make our way through the difficulty. It's a time to remember that Our Lord puts us in particular places for particular reasons and expects us to rely on Him for strength, most especially when things look impossible. He said that when he was elected Pope that he said to the Lord, "What are you doing? You put me here, and now You must do the work because I cannot!" He said he begged the Lord for help.<br /><br />The pope is an amazing man, and yet he's just like the rest of us who beg for help. I've found myself begging desperately lately. Almost as if I've been drowning. But He sends little messages to keep me going, like the interview to listen to as an example. My yucky feelings might not magically disappear, but my logical mind can adjust itself to understand a situation better so that I can tolerate it and keep going.<br /><br />The goal is peace. Isn't it, for everyone? I would desperately like peace.<br /><br />This morning I was reading my devotional and it quoted scripture saying, "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits". He has the benefit of knowing I'm a wimp! But my limits keep getting tested by life events that I feel like I cannot handle. And yet, I make it through them. I'm often able to look back on them and feel some sort of accomplishment at having not given up. And grateful that He didn't leave me to my own devices. I have to make a conscious effort to remember to "Bless the Lord" for not forgetting about me and my shortcomings. If it weren't for Him I'd be curled up under a rock somewhere, crying like a baby.<br /><br />I'm still seeking out peace, though. That is a life long journey if I'm not mistaken. If ever there was a race, I would think it would be to get to the "peaceful" end.<br /><br />Dory comes to mind...Just keep swimming!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRiP7VplbRcWrn77YVu5GRde4cG2JnVVUGY7R_qAwLf1KK13oQcSZ9I1wXhMX_FzMgomStoyc7lKmq2SxhpQWPYf9Kf-bFmBl8n135-rCQU4SFHb3791g6z6cAUc8OFTQvZNB2/s1600/finding-nemo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRiP7VplbRcWrn77YVu5GRde4cG2JnVVUGY7R_qAwLf1KK13oQcSZ9I1wXhMX_FzMgomStoyc7lKmq2SxhpQWPYf9Kf-bFmBl8n135-rCQU4SFHb3791g6z6cAUc8OFTQvZNB2/s400/finding-nemo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622847826912055266" border="0" /></a>Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-90102907982264259942011-06-18T09:46:00.000-07:002011-06-18T09:53:10.828-07:0030 Days of PicturesI read about <a href="http://projectsforyournest.blogspot.com/2011/05/photo-fun-in-june-come-join-party.html">this challenge</a> a couple days ago and thought it would be fun to try it!<br /><br />So here is my self portrait for day 1.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOT_GmpRGMQNgc_t6gntTd8nD9lkWZ00w79ykNyyuMjnWas8ZyJELAeVOPd5T8lrQmPPs5uWyHM6Gm1w7JDoy-uFJCxmZsjbu8kffqeJ1KS43bZV5A2M7vJy7SmzMibbOBe0El/s1600/IMG_0064.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOT_GmpRGMQNgc_t6gntTd8nD9lkWZ00w79ykNyyuMjnWas8ZyJELAeVOPd5T8lrQmPPs5uWyHM6Gm1w7JDoy-uFJCxmZsjbu8kffqeJ1KS43bZV5A2M7vJy7SmzMibbOBe0El/s400/IMG_0064.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5619603381405255746" border="0" /></a><br />Me, amid my mess of supplies. Where I love to be.<br /><br />It'll be a challenge for me since I'll be in a hurry to get a picture each day. They might not be the greatest pictures, but it'll still be fun.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-2194176688710806662011-06-16T07:15:00.000-07:002011-06-16T07:35:34.276-07:00She said the "A" word!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1EAUImSym5vNT9eAaYObpN_aMxCSLrO3DoMFb6kHJa2mOott7ALQLNgXY2shUH6y2tuOumfnds_a9lId5JYxXHRDKtIuag5aj3Fl9l50ASuteU5d8AECcjPwVbOJ2uG_rIJhZ/s1600/IMG_0558.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1EAUImSym5vNT9eAaYObpN_aMxCSLrO3DoMFb6kHJa2mOott7ALQLNgXY2shUH6y2tuOumfnds_a9lId5JYxXHRDKtIuag5aj3Fl9l50ASuteU5d8AECcjPwVbOJ2uG_rIJhZ/s400/IMG_0558.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5618825668645770754" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">(Ignore the mess and focus on the boy!:)</span><br /></div><br />It's not the one you're thinking! :)<br /><br />This morning we met with Anthony's behavioral Psychologist. Last time we met, she gave me a Connors Evaluation to fill out. It was like 108 questions. Some of it didn't apply, but a lot of it did. She went over it with another of the doctors in the office, the one that specifically does testing for all things learning and emotional/mental health-wise. She said it clicked that what we might be dealing with is a mild case of Aspergers, but we won't know for sure until we get him thoroughly tested. But she said, (and spoke as if this is truly possibly what is going on), that if this is a diagnosis that it's a good move ahead to help Anthony to function better, and be able to socialize better. And it will be essential to have the documentation to take to whatever school he may go to so that he can get the help he needs to excel. He's incredibly smart, he just needs a little help!<br /><br />The downside right now is that the doctor who does all the testing is moving to another practice and she isn't sure that we will be able to use her to get Anthony's testing done. So...we might end up having to go to Wilmington to another doctor if we can't arrange it somehow to use the same doctor that it was scheduled with. It's a little disappointing, the uncertainty of what is going to happen. But Anthony's psychologist is really advocating for him to get whatever help he needs and she's willing to do as much as she can to help out. She feels it is crucial to get an accurate diagnosis, and for that I am grateful. She made a point of letting me know that she doesn't have a lot of confidence in the other local testers. She said she has seen their reports on kids, and they are no where near as accurate and in depth as they need to be to help kids. I'm so glad she felt comfortable telling me that so that he isn't just passed over. We'll figure it out though. I'm confident in her enthusiasm to help Anthony.<br /><br />Today I'm grateful for her in our life.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-38542892180052516142011-06-15T05:12:00.000-07:002011-06-15T05:31:31.131-07:00Sow Bountifully!I try to remind myself to do that.<br /><br />"Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully." 2 Corinthians 9:6<br /><br />I wonder what the Corinthians really thought when they were told that? When I think of Corinth, I think of the Gladiator. I can't help it. I'm not sure if the two are related, but that's what automatically comes to mind. Thinking about the Gladiator times, life seemed to be about indulging in things. Things aren't so different now, if you think about it. What can you get, that is better than what you have, and how can you make yourself look better while feeling good? It's a vicious sort of thing.<br /><br />In my own life, I struggle a lot with a different perspective from my spouse very often when it comes to "things". He likes things, he likes to look at things, he likes to have things, he likes to be <span style="font-style: italic;">able</span> to have things. For me, though, it's just not that important. I'm not better than him by not wanting things, by any means. It's just a different perspective, and I have to learn to be understanding. For men, also, <span style="font-style: italic;">things</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">providing things</span> for their family is part of who they are and how they relate to life. Their job as providers is to provide after all. If they aren't able to do that, try to imagine how that affects their sense of responsibility. With gentleness I have to accept that his desire so often for things isn't a "self centered" thing, but a need to prove himself. We do ok. God blessed me with creativity which in comes in handy quite often.<br /><br />More than a few times lately I've been presented with this quote about sowing bountifully. Naturally I think, "how the heck am I supposed to do that when there is so little already?" The thing is, when we let go of what we do have (which so often might be so little) God has a chance to work in amazing ways. Now I'm not saying that the letting go will be easy, in fact it might be physically painful, and you might find yourself feeling frantic for a moment. However, it's all about trust. Do you trust? I find myself saying "yes", with tears of fear and worry and ulcers building in my stomach. Try to trust and then let go! Remind yourself to take a deep breath, it will help!<br /><br />Remember, it doesn't just say "sow bountifully!"<br /><br />It's also says,<span style="font-style: italic;"> PROMISES</span>, you "will also REAP BOUNTIFULLY"!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-90164768561160051612011-06-05T20:27:00.000-07:002011-06-05T20:47:13.976-07:00Today, what a day.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jJRbMa6nP53rim2g4XO1b9oS9VwIgAtSvBe4YP43hkO-i-sXqYU5BjdG-hQZFbyg0KJmfH8fDwCcHn6gBjLS1SL0GXmf_Cyxm65PqlTJST74pP9iGyJiOWILsx0tMumUFsdo/s1600/stressed-is-desserts-magnet-c11750035.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jJRbMa6nP53rim2g4XO1b9oS9VwIgAtSvBe4YP43hkO-i-sXqYU5BjdG-hQZFbyg0KJmfH8fDwCcHn6gBjLS1SL0GXmf_Cyxm65PqlTJST74pP9iGyJiOWILsx0tMumUFsdo/s400/stressed-is-desserts-magnet-c11750035.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614948191781290226" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Pausing in my day, before I head to bed. Taking a deep breath.<br />It was one of those days that was particularly trying for me. Everything started out ok. I guess I just tend towards being overly sensitive sometimes. Here's what happened...<br /><br />We got out the door just in time to make it to church this morning. It was the children's Mass, so it was pretty full. Anthony is tending towards wanting to sit in the front row to see and listen to everything that goes on. That makes me so incredibly happy, his desire to know Jesus. But today, since we walked in just a smidge after everything started, it was already full. We ended up in the crying room as the older two went to listen to the readings and learn about Jesus. When they got back to us things just started to spiral down quickly. Anthony wanted to sit in front. There was no room. He wasn't interested in that, he just wanted to sit in front. For the next 30 minutes he went from being mildly upset and sad, to full on tears and melt down. By the time it was communion time, he was in full blow tears and uncontrollable sobs. I ended up physically removing him from the church. He just couldn't calm himself down, and cried/sobbed/yelled the whole way home.<br /><br />It was enough to give me a headache. But I remained calm, and tried to remind myself about what the Psychologist told me..."He may not be able to control his feelings, and so that makes him act out even more because he can't compute how to deal properly." Yes, and this makes it a little easier to understand how it can go from being a little upset to out of control in about 30 seconds.<br /><br />In normal fashion, about 30 minutes after he locked himself in his room under his covers he emerged perfectly happy. The whole thing makes me feel crazy because it's as if he doesn't even remember what happened. He has to be reminded of the consequences of his behavior, and that is upsetting as well. And can also result in another melt down. Which it did today. Sometimes it's not so bad. The whole thing was so...huge...that he made himself physically sick. And I was grouchy all day. I hate being grouchy. I try not to take it out on everyone, but I'm not perfect.<br /><br />I just keep praying for patience and understanding. It'll all be ok in the end. Eventually. Someday. :) I'm just glad today is coming to an end and I get to start over new tomorrow!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-557632690442347342011-06-05T11:22:00.000-07:002011-06-05T12:10:20.689-07:00For My Kids.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimakBvZBEGyQbg9h1s_P-aOfBiUNh6L4pvWfrOSG53CL1mCdc7MB7dMUYkJ9slFueiWrMPMZPXizo8yvm_qEPZxHVGyEZ4tluICtZfUihAF-wGJVWG8tUPI6saXJkLz1s5jJSp/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 232px; height: 217px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimakBvZBEGyQbg9h1s_P-aOfBiUNh6L4pvWfrOSG53CL1mCdc7MB7dMUYkJ9slFueiWrMPMZPXizo8yvm_qEPZxHVGyEZ4tluICtZfUihAF-wGJVWG8tUPI6saXJkLz1s5jJSp/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614812847386835074" border="0" /></a><br />It's that time of year. The school year is coming to an end, and ideas about next year are swimming in my head.<br /><br />This school year has been full of joy and fun, struggles and challenges. Annie is excelling in every area. Anthony is doing well also, but struggling. I've written before about his challenges. With all three of the kids with me 24/7 I have my moments of feeling quite overwhelmed, especially when facing Annie's need for constant challenge in her work, and Anthony needing special one-on-one time to get things done. I guess you could say I'm admitting that I need help! We started with getting Anthony in to a Behavioral Psychologist. He will be doing testing next month to check for things like learning disabilities, emotional disabilities, etc. It will be good. With all the challenges that Anthony clearly seems to be facing, and his need for special attention, I can't do it all! Kevin and I, and the Psychologist, all have come to agreement that I need help in schooling the kids. (Throw Matthew and his challenging personality, and constant trouble making into the mix, and I'm lucky to get through the day without feeling overwhelmed.)<br /><br />The other day we went to our parish school and got all the necessary info to get them enrolled. It's very obviously beyond our financial means to be able to enroll them. But I am confident that if they are meant to be there, it will happen. It is a wonderful environment, with very small classes, and excellent curriculum. It would be perfect for both the kids. Anthony would receive the attention he needs, and Annie would be in a great environment. The classes are no bigger than 25 students, and most are around 20.<br /><br />It is my hope and prayer that we will be able to manage it somehow. If at all you can help, we would all be so grateful. Just click the donate button to the right. Even if you are not able to help financially, your prayers would be gratefully accepted too!<br /><br />Also, from now on, the money from my diaper sales will go directly to their school tuition fund. So if you are interested in cloth diapering, please do check out my other website to contribute that way as well! <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.doodlela.com">www.doodlela.com</a><br />I will start sewing diapers again this week, so please keep an eye out over there!<br /><br />$200 by July 1st will reserve their spot in the school. Right now, that is my goal!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-28665006757357400742011-06-03T19:26:00.000-07:002011-06-03T19:36:25.230-07:00Some Monthly CraftingIt's been a while!<br />We've been busy. It's the end of the "school year" so we've been catching up on work, recitals, and other necessary things. But amidst all that, I like to take a break and do something fun.<br /><br />We've invited a lovely group of ladies and their kids to come over next week for a little craft and some pool time/potluck. So I've been working like a little busy bee to get things ready. These are a couple of pictures of the crafts we'll be doing...<br /><br />First, I thought it would be fun to pick one saint a month to focus on and paint a little doll! The summer saints often get over looked as we're busy doing summer stuff. But this is a simple and easy reminder of their lives and examples that we can carry with us on our faith journey.<br />We'll be doing Saint Anthony this month. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpjCeTJRa0amj-ONg548vlqSyMWwzbEi5zOTd9tanfUpav7Ibgp2P9LIyfAwWZbT06xMergv8KDMyGxDgSYVqxHdTWiSUfP8LShfxBU2_OIBspJ0eqKjU3F0g966bLt0FZD6V5/s1600/IMG_0042.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpjCeTJRa0amj-ONg548vlqSyMWwzbEi5zOTd9tanfUpav7Ibgp2P9LIyfAwWZbT06xMergv8KDMyGxDgSYVqxHdTWiSUfP8LShfxBU2_OIBspJ0eqKjU3F0g966bLt0FZD6V5/s400/IMG_0042.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614186201078679650" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And because Father's Day is this month, we will also be making the dad's in our lives cards! But the kids cards will be in brighter Spring/Summer colors. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8bDQNQDZplapD35i6C7b1AYTgI3MnnJTtf_QkBHfP5kcHD_V6v7-bzuxag73NaNLqhDrO7KKg19uQNPvWW6S96ZiLcp8UVOY0eSHz2IQXHcep87zHEI_1VBTrh-LYr13CkTE/s1600/IMG_0044.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8bDQNQDZplapD35i6C7b1AYTgI3MnnJTtf_QkBHfP5kcHD_V6v7-bzuxag73NaNLqhDrO7KKg19uQNPvWW6S96ZiLcp8UVOY0eSHz2IQXHcep87zHEI_1VBTrh-LYr13CkTE/s400/IMG_0044.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614186206124626562" border="0" /></a><br />It's a shirt and tie! How cute is that? :) I think I will be printing little ribbons of "Father's Day" instead of the actual ribbon-- too much work! On the inside is a card that say's "Five Things I Love About You!", and on the back are spaces for writing those 5 things.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to the fun and so are the kids!Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-52143919708199432672011-05-25T05:07:00.001-07:002011-05-25T05:47:15.914-07:00They lead me to Sainthood...?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNx84_gdoYAq7q3JgB9Ug5g68a2gERGHqMVSwB6gRUfueVMqcy4Xoe6cwBNEy1b74aG8omnA4AdALNyICkJwsHqH-KrZBqZosoMXJxEJ6UFxhjE08S7SkJsj-a0WzZ0zml60Ur/s1600/kidsonpoolladder.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNx84_gdoYAq7q3JgB9Ug5g68a2gERGHqMVSwB6gRUfueVMqcy4Xoe6cwBNEy1b74aG8omnA4AdALNyICkJwsHqH-KrZBqZosoMXJxEJ6UFxhjE08S7SkJsj-a0WzZ0zml60Ur/s400/kidsonpoolladder.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610625344255506098" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Is it wrong that half my prayers are prayers of desperation?<br /><br />"Oh Lord, please let us sleep!"<br />"Please God, don't let the car break down on the way to a recital!"<br />"God, can't you see he's driving me insane? Give me patience PLEASE?!"<br /><br />I sincerely believe that I'm ok, really. Otherwise wouldn't He have sent these wonderful kids to some other young lady to mother? After all, it says in scripture that His power is made perfect in weakness. We have some amazing children, and I am humbled that I am chosen to mother them and bring them up to be responsible, caring, generous adults. It's a little daunting at times.<br /><br />For me, the last year or so has been about asking for help. I spent a lot of my youth thinking I couldn't or shouldn't ask for help. It was a sign of weakness or something, and if you did ask for help you were just going to end up in trouble somehow. Sadly, I can't go back and fix that young girls perspective, but I can use it as a starting point to learn and grow. My children challenge me everyday to be better and to learn more about being a better mom (and about dinosaurs, my faith, why stars look the way they do, why we had Anthony before we were married....yeah that was not one I was expecting so soon). As anyone who is a parent knows, you don't have all the answers. Not even close. And I am reminded that everyday. It's a good reminder that I need to depend a lot on God for strength for each little thing in each day. With out His grace, I'm sure I wouldn't have the patience, strength, understanding, fortitude, (more patience), to care for them in the way they need to be cared for.<br /><br />I love my kids so much. They are a call to me to grow outside my "self" and to be more. Some days <span style="font-style: italic;">that is so hard</span>. But if it will lead them to where they are supposed to go, and if maybe I can grow and be better in the process...then I will keep imitating Mary by saying "yes" to God's challenge for my life.<br /><br />(Just don't be surprised if I cry a lot along the way.)Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16331039.post-79537316821461997252011-05-03T05:42:00.000-07:002011-05-03T06:17:44.412-07:00Loveliness....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjjqCAKDmGgKkEK9bk-0AcY5-yQdz0pYi0jTxy-NkmwphQRudXr53XrB_tEQOldaSNkR3zxvCMc3xQ_B3lKZDdaUif3NSMcCd3NDNgQFbgSydt0m8EJILgsDXI8_j5qIbpy43/s1600/IMG_0386.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjjqCAKDmGgKkEK9bk-0AcY5-yQdz0pYi0jTxy-NkmwphQRudXr53XrB_tEQOldaSNkR3zxvCMc3xQ_B3lKZDdaUif3NSMcCd3NDNgQFbgSydt0m8EJILgsDXI8_j5qIbpy43/s400/IMG_0386.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5602469839448378434" border="0" /></a><br />Sometimes, when Matthew stops moving and is just still, I like to sit and watch what he does. Granted it only lasts a moment. If you so much as blink that moment of calm quiet will be over. That's why I am so glad I had the camera in my hand, (actually I had just taken it away from him). He's now 17 months, and boy was there never a more boyish boy! For a moment, while I was watching him there on the porch, I was afraid he would either start pulling the little seedlings out or push them onto the floor. Mostly I thought they would just end up on the floor. He has a habit of pulling or pushing everything on to the floor.<br /><br />(So if you ever come to visit and are amazed at the mess, just know I spend all day following around behind him cleaning up messes. Actually, they are more like small disasters. He could make a mess of anything! Feel free to pick up whatever you would step on, or just walk around it.)<br /><br />I love him to pieces.Celestehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04136621488028178493noreply@blogger.com0