Wednesday, August 02, 2006
On having panic attack.
I've come to the conclusion that there is an art to science of having a panic attack.
First I think that it's important to have a ligitimate subject to base your attack on. Like going to your in laws with two small children for three weeks, half way across the country, on a plane for god-only-only-knows-how-long, and knowing that you can only drug your children for so long before it's considered child-abuse. This I would consider a good, although somewhat "used before" reason. Oh, and if you happen to be going without the blessed spouse, for this you get brownie points. The fact that's he's fighting for our country is great, but still.
Second. Add the pressure of your own mother who keeps saying "Are you sure...I mean three weeks. That's a long time...*kisses baby loudly* And how will I survive without my babies!" Thank you mother. Why don't you just gouge my eyes out with the baby's spoon while your at it.
Third, make sure that your doing laundry and packing at the last most possible moment. This will ensure that you forget to pack something essential. Like underwear. Or diapers for the plane ride, ensurring that you leave the plane with a stinky, soggy baby, and everyone including the flight-attendents hating your guts and shooting poison darts at you with their eyes.
Are we there yet?