Monday, January 26, 2009

When your head is swimming.

Sometimes I have so many things in my head that I know I need my attention...I start to feel like I'm in a boat on rough seas. Or underwater, and I can't hear or see clearly. Such is life?
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Anneliese has needed a lot of attention lately. Her tantrums are seriously over the top. Anytime, anywhere, multiple times a day. I do believe I've lost some hearing in my right ear. It's her favorite side to scream in. Sound is dull on that side. When, on the rare occasion, she wants something and isn't screaming, she whispers or mumbles. It's enough to drive you bonkers. *sigh*

She gets so out of control and all I want to do is hold her and make her feel better. But she won't have any of that. She's taken to biting me. Thank goodness for clothing: at least it keeps her from breaking the skin for the most part. The saddest part I think is...she's fully potty trained, even at night...but when she gets in one of her tantrums she will wet herself. But you can't do anything about it until she calms down. So she'll be following me around the house with her ear piercing scream leaving a trail of wetness behind her. I was going to switch the door knob on her room around so I could lock her in, but it's one of those stupid knobs where you have to pry it off. You have to stand there and hold the door shut. That can be exhausting because she could go for an hour before she tires out. The garage has come in handy, the only thing is I'm afraid someone is going to call the police or something. My neighbor texted me the other day asking if it was Anneliese screaming. I replied back that yes, indeed, it was and I was afraid that someone would call the police thinking I was abusing her. She was nice enough to let me know that it sounds like someone throwing a hissy fit/being a brat, not someone being abused. I felt a mixture of relief and embarrassment.
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Now, honestly, I can handle the tantrums. I just need a minute to cool down every once in a while. It's very tiring having someone screaming at you all the time! And she does have her rare moments of sweetness where she is full of hugs and kisses. They are few and far between, but they do happen. My getting a break helps me to be open to her affection. Kevin is having a hard time with me leaving to recoup, so if ya'll could toss a prayer in there for him to just be patient with her...I'd appreciate it.
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In the last few weeks she has started to cross her eyes, so that is top on my priority list. Finding out what is going on with that and what we should do. It's not always, but it's becoming more and more often, and for longer lengths of time throughout the day. We'll see what we can discover.
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I'm off to tackle some of my lists.

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