Thursday, February 07, 2008

Here I am.

I didn't fall off the face of the earth! I've just been... super busy.

The kids and I went up to northern California to visit family, and more specifically to take Thomas' remains to the cemetery. I know. That's not so glamorous. But it was something necessary. He needed a resting place. Despite knowing that he isn't truly "there", but in heaven, it was still so extremely difficult to leave him there. I thought I would be fine. I looked at it as just taking care of the last bit of "business", but when the time came to go I just wanted to crawl up in that little tiny niche and stay there too. *sigh* He's my baby. I'm supposed to take care of my baby and here I was leaving him somewhere alone. The whole process was like tearing open than wound again. I once again feel I am in recovery. It's almost as if I was extremely ill and need to get better now. Again. Lots of sadness. But I know I'll be ok. I know that the sadness is for me missing him, and not because there is some reason to worry about him. He's just fine! Me...well...like I said, still recovering.

It's good to be home. We were gone for over a week, and it just drained us all. Familiar is good.

I hope everyone has been ok. I'll be back into the groove of things in no time and I'll share some more uplifting stories. I promise:)

G'night.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Oh sweetie, my heart aches for you. ((hugs))