Monday, November 19, 2007

My little safe place.

I'm sorry I've been gone, dear friends.

An argument the other day sort of sent me on my bottom. Though I'm coping better with everything, I still feel...petrified...of moving from my "safe place". Whatever, wherever that is.

I feel like I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that someone important to me thinks that I am less than (much less) perfect. Don't laugh. That is traumatizing for someone who is (mostly) a perfectionist. And though the problem isn't really mine, and I know I will never really be perfect, nor will life, the fact that this person took some frustration out on me was enough to send me over the edge for a few days.

I'm just a work in progress. *sigh*

The last few days I've been looking at beautiful things to try to make myself feel better. We all deserve some beauty in our lives. We really really do. The beauty is there, and it's there for the taking. So why not take hold of it, right? I have piles of beautiful things laying in a pile, torn from magazines, printed from the internet. They wait for me to do something about them. I don't know what, but they are there when I can do something about them. The thought has crossed my mind that Christmas is near, and presents could be made, and my shop could be "open". It seems too stressful, overwhelming. One thing at a time. "Me" needs to come first right now so I don't lose "me" completely to this horrible "depressed" state.

Bare with me friends.

1 comment:

cami* said...

i LOVE YOU
You are totally honest and i admire that.
Sweet and Brave.
xoxoxo, cami*