Thursday, November 02, 2006

A realization

Yesterday I spoke with Kevin as we usually do before he goes to PT and work. But something hit me in how he was talking to me that opened up my eyes a little bit to how much he loves me.

I hate to admit this because it's sort of embarrassing...but I was seriously considering just staying here because I will be alone after he heads to the sandbox. Not only will I miss him, but it will be that fresh "missing". The old missing is easier to handle. It's there and I'm used to it. Anyway, we were talking and he said that when I am there with him we will take care of our kids, and I won't have to worry about this other thing we were discussing. He didn't want me have to worry about this "thing". That was like a foreign concept. The realization for me is that he loves me and is wanting to take care of me. This may seem like the obvious...but I'm dense and had to have it pointed out to me.

So I need to be there with him. He needs to be a husband. I need to let him.

Ok then.

I'm still agonizing over what to do with the stupid car. I don't think we're going to be refinancing. Mom said she can't so-sign. Which is fine. She has to be able to refi the house. I don't see why we need a stupid co-signer anyway! We got the car without one! It's just dumb. The car isn't even worth what our loan is, so I doubt anyone would want to assume the loan. We need some sort of miracle...

It's makes me physically ill thinking about it.

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