Friday, October 20, 2006
The Move and random stuff.
Kevin said I'm probably going to have to move ourselves there by myself because he'll be doing training. That's a scary idea for me to try to wrap my brain around. I guess that's why I've been so irritable and overreactive the last few days. I have all these worst-case-scenarios running through my head all the time. I hate that I'm so pessimistic all the time. It tends to get you down even farther. I actually woke up this morning excited about seeing Kevin and sharing a home with him. I felt like I was getting a bit ahead of everything though. My pessimism coming out again.
I didn't realize how much I've been stuffing my face lately...till I put my new jeans on this morning and they were a little snug. That's majorly depressing. I think it's a subconscious thing... I stuff my face when I am not happy. And I don't even realize it.
My mom also renigged on co-signing our refi-loan. Why they even want one-- I don't know. It's lame. So now I'm trying not to be really peeved. And praying for some sort of miracle. Like they forget they want a co-signer or something.
I really am hating this grown-up stuff. And I feel really lonely. And alone. Can those two things be seperate issues?
And I think I really need someone to tell me to grow up and just deal. I just feel like crying which isn't going to solve anything. (And my eyes will just get all puffy which is just ugly.I know, I'm vain.)