Babies

They slowly take over all aspects of your life. Until one day you finally come to the conclusion that any attention you get that isn't about your baby is about the fat that your baby made you gain. Yes, I said "made". You have no choice when your bulging with babyness in your belly about the amount of fat clinging to your bones. It just sort of happens. You crave that PB&J 24/7, until at last you smell of it-- this Peanut perfume emanating from your greasy pores. Or in my case, mashed potatoes and gravy. It's not as attractive as the PB&J.

And if it's not the fat...it's the attitude. You as a mom can't leave home without your dear ones. They are absolutely adorable. (When they are sleeping.) If a stranger perhaps sees that adorable picture of them in your wallet bulging with all of last years receipts you no longer become you. You become "the mom of" your adorable little monsters. How old are they, are they teething, are they in school, are they out of diapers, do they sleep through the night. (Answers to those questions: Not old enough! Yes, for what seems like forever now. Only when they are naked! Only if they are drugged.) You lose your identity as a normal woman. You no longer have feelings, prefrences, hobbies, dreams for the future other than seeing them out of your house. You sigh, and answer the questions trying not to be exhausted even though your matted hair, sweat pants, and burp-up stained shirt should be evidence to the contrary. You take your groceries and go back to your car filled with cracker crumbs, thousands of fast food toys, and finger-printed windows, roll down the windows and take a huge breath (trying to avoid the smell) and try not to cry that you have to return home to the sweet little things.

Oh and by the way...while you were at the grocery store....you forgot the toilet paper and diapers you went to get.