Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Akwardness: Will it pass?

Kevin called last night. We talked for 4 minutes and 9 seconds.
It sorta sounded like he was on a cell phone or something because it kept breaking up. Who knows.
I alwasy get so excited when he calls. My heart starts beating really fast, and I even get those funny butterfly feelings in my stomach much like when we first met. After the initial stuff, though, I feel like the conversation just dies. What have I been up to? "Changing diapers, doing laundry...entertaining kids, paying bills...Yes, the car is running fine...."The silences are getting longer, and the time he's gone just keeps on going and going. It makes me really sad, and desperate feeling. It's not like I'm going anywhere. The time just keeps passing, and things happen...I forget to tell him about stuff (nothing important), and things change (the kids, and me).
I suppose he has his own insecurities about the whole thing.
I gave both the kids baths at about 7.30 last night and they were asleep by 8.30. Then I stood there scratching my head, not knowing what to do with myself. My mom was laughing at me because I just kept wandering around the house. I'd think of something to do and then get distracted! Kinda funny...
And then....
Anthony had a fever last night of 101.4. I stripped him down to his underwear. First he was complaining that he was hot. Then he was shivering cold. I gave him some tylenol and his fever finally broke at about 4.30 this morning. Now he just has a sore throat. Poor little guy.

I am tired.

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