Sunday, April 30, 2006
Today is Sunday. I love Sunday. It reminds me of when I was a little girl and we would get all dressed up in our nice clothes and fix our hair and...Sunday was a big deal. Going to church, having a fmaily breakfast, having a day off the play or do whatever. It's a day when I always go "Yay! I get to see God today!" I know it seems like a little girl thing to do still at the age of 26 but I think it will always be that way for me. And it's pretty and sunny out side to boot. It's all good.
Yesterday I was on a Natural Family Planning spree I guess you could say. I was researching and reading and brushing up on my forgotten "talents" in charting my cycle. Anyway I came across like the greatest thing since like sliced bread. Or maybe the toaster since this little gadget is electronic. If you are practicing NFP this little thing you would love. Or if you are wanting to get off the Pill or stop using other forms of artificial birth control. Go here to read more
Great invention if I do say so myself. I'm getting one.
Well I haven't talked about the kids in a couple days. Lets start there. Anthonys little phase of good days passed. It was fleeting but wonderful. What happened you ask? Well I had to go out and had no one to watch him. He got ahold of some Easter chocolate eggs. Someone took away the chocolate eggs. And it just went down hill from there. Screaming, crying, kicking, tantrums..yada yada. Woo hoo *twirls finger* Back to that now. He threw a fit in the car and kicked the back of my seat...tearing the pocket off the back so now the seam is shredded and the whole seat cover is coming apart. Haven't shared that little tidbit with Kevin yet. Today my mission is to go at it with a needle and thread and just sew the whole damn thing together, and the pocket onto the seat so it can't even be opened. Then I'll get a cover for it or something. The child mutilates just about anything when he's on a rampage. I don't have anything nice around anymore cause he just destroys everything. Most of my movies are all scratched up too...I almost am tempted to just get rid of...no not him!...the television!-- so he will find something else constructive to complain at me about "needing" to do. And it won't make me cringe as much as it does to see a $20 dvd mutilated.
Anneliese is fine I guess. I took her to Mass with me this morning and she just charmed everyone with her smiles and bouncing. She was quiet the whole time. It was pretty cool. And then some older gentleman came and congradulated me on having such a "wonderfully quiet and sweet baby. oh and she's cute too!" Hhahahahahha....Yes. Good thing he's not a neighbor. He'd know just how "sweet" she really is most of the time:)
Today I'm taking the TV in the living room out while everyone else is at church. Last night was just the last straw with the guys. They were yelling and arguing at 11:30 last night slamming things around over who gets to play the stupid play station. Well, now noone gets to play! They can buy their own if they want a TV. I'm done being nice! I've decided that if I don't like it, it goes away. I know I'm getting drastic but I'm tired of mean people living here, arguing over dumb stuff and taking advantage of me. It's time for me to fight back! Raaaaawr! Girl power!
I am so tired of having to be this way...So defensive all the time. I hate it. I'm a nice person. I'm quiet. I treat people nice. I don't like to have attention on me. I just want to go about my life living quietly and calmly with the people I love. But it seems like everything is just making me have to be this person I don't want to have to be. This person who comes across as hard and cold and ruthless. And loud. I hate yelling. It even makes me loose my voice. But it seems like I'm doing more yelling at people than ever now than ever before in my life. I keep asking God why it has to be me to keep at everyone. So far no voices from above are talking back, but I'm taking the hint that maybe it's me because I'm getting good at it and He knew I would be. What the hell! I didn't ask for this job.