It's been a while.

It's been like a week since I last posted. All I can say is that I've been busy beyond belief. It's crazy that I'm now busier with the kids and the house and everything than I was when I was working full time.

Over the last week or so I've been going over our finances. What little we have:) We don't have a lot of bills or anything like that so I've been going over how we can put money aside and make it grow. I've found this great bank that does all it's banking online. ING Direct. It's great. The savings account has like a 4% interest rate. That's ten million times better than the 0.04% we get at Washington Mutual. I'm determined to make our money grow so we can eventually have some things that we want. Like a house of our own. Possibly a retirement account. I'm super excited, and I love researching all this stuff.

I also figured out that the payment I made on the car...well the extra just went towards the next payment. Not the principle. So I'll be paying the payment online and then sending in an extra $20 or so in principle. Then we'll have the car paid off sooner. It's gonna be great. Then ina couple months we'll refi and lower our payments and that way be able to put more away each month. I'm a smart chick.

Yesterday was a rough day. Me and mom took the kids to the deYoung Museum in San Francisco. It's was a disaster. Anthony just couldn't handle it at all. He tantrumed (is that a word?) for like 20 minutes in the "hall of dresses", while I held onto him to keep him from hurting himself. Needless to say he didn't end up injured in the least, but I came away with a few bruises and bite marks and cuts from fingernails on my face, chest, arms and hands. It's a good work out trying to keep him contained. He tends to lash out at anyone that comes near him so it can get kind of dangerous sometimes. He kicked this lady who happened to be walking by. And then later on he shoved this lady from behind because she was standing in front of him. The worst part I think is that when he does that kind of thing to someone I don't know what to say other than that I am sorry. I'm not sure that people will or can understand that he has a really low threshold for being in public places amidst lots of people. I think it makes him uneasy and scared and so he lashes out. My mom just gets pissed when he gets out of control and thinks that spanking him and yelling at him are going to help. Mostly it just shocks him for a minute and then he goes back to what he was doing, (ie screaming, kicking, hitting). Don't I wish that yelling or spanking would do some good! He's very intense...so my response to him has to be just as intense, but understanding at the same time. It's draining, cause my nature just wants to be just like what mom does-- yell! Instead I have to be sweet and understanding and firm with him. It's quite akin to dealing with a child with mental issues in that I have to physically move him to do things, to stop or to go, to look at me, to pick something up. That seems to be the only thing that works. That book I got has helped me understand him tremendously, but I'm still way far away from having everything under control. I keep praying that God will help me be a better mother. I suck at this sometimes a LOT.

I was thinking about seeing if there is a support group out there for Parents with Difficult Children. I've heard there are but I'm not sure if there are any around here...Maybe one could be started.