Monday, June 27, 2011
Seek peace and pursue it.
The past week or so has been full of stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff, frustrating stuff, boring stuff. I won't bother you with the details. It's made me very tired, not so much physically (although that too), but my mind is tired.
Yesterday I had to make a trip to Wilmington to pick up some fabric, and I was listening to an interview with Pope Benedict. He touched on many subjects which are very important to people right now. It was excellent. But what struck me amidst it all was when he spoke about "going on". The interviewer was asking specifically about whether he believes there is a time for the Pope to offer his resignation. The holy father said that yes there is a time for that, when he feels that he cannot do what is being asked of him, or that his mental or physical abilities are not allowing him to fulfill his role. But, just because something is difficult that does not mean that it is time to resign. Rather this difficult time is a time to go on and to make our way through the difficulty. It's a time to remember that Our Lord puts us in particular places for particular reasons and expects us to rely on Him for strength, most especially when things look impossible. He said that when he was elected Pope that he said to the Lord, "What are you doing? You put me here, and now You must do the work because I cannot!" He said he begged the Lord for help.
The pope is an amazing man, and yet he's just like the rest of us who beg for help. I've found myself begging desperately lately. Almost as if I've been drowning. But He sends little messages to keep me going, like the interview to listen to as an example. My yucky feelings might not magically disappear, but my logical mind can adjust itself to understand a situation better so that I can tolerate it and keep going.
The goal is peace. Isn't it, for everyone? I would desperately like peace.
This morning I was reading my devotional and it quoted scripture saying, "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits". He has the benefit of knowing I'm a wimp! But my limits keep getting tested by life events that I feel like I cannot handle. And yet, I make it through them. I'm often able to look back on them and feel some sort of accomplishment at having not given up. And grateful that He didn't leave me to my own devices. I have to make a conscious effort to remember to "Bless the Lord" for not forgetting about me and my shortcomings. If it weren't for Him I'd be curled up under a rock somewhere, crying like a baby.
I'm still seeking out peace, though. That is a life long journey if I'm not mistaken. If ever there was a race, I would think it would be to get to the "peaceful" end.
Dory comes to mind...Just keep swimming!