Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Taking it slow, Tuesday.

Rush, rush, rush. I don't want to rush.

Yesterday I talked a little about being overly busy, and here we are today getting rushed to get things done before we have to leave the house for outside activities.

I like to think I'm a work in progress in the good-parent department. (Yes, this ties in with being busy.) I've had to learn to use my voice, and I don't necessarily mean my vocal cords. I mean that I've had to learn when to parent and then express that to my kids. Being the people-pleaser that I am, that is really difficult for me at times. No parent likes to upset their kids, but sometimes it is necessary to say "no", and follow through.

We had a situation where someone wasn't willing to get work done on time, and then procrastinated in getting ready to leave the house. So rather than doing all those things that make you rush out the door (ie yelling, nagging, threatening) Kevin took the initiative and decided that we just would not be going to that evenings activity. My internal reaction? "We can't not go! We can't not show up! What will people think?! What if he misses something important! Etc, etc, etc." I learned two things from this situation. First, I learned that, yes, I need to submit sometimes. What? Yes! He was attempting to teach a lesson, and it was a good lesson that this child needed to learn. Second, that lesson is/was more important than rushing to get somewhere and more important than what someone else might think. We are charged with raising up our children. If they can't be responsible and accountable in our home, what's to say they will be accountable when they leave. Perhaps some children learn to be accountable the hard way, when they leave home. We are a family unit and need to be accountable to one another. It starts here. And in the end, what do they learn from our threats of "If you don't hurry up we're not going....", only to give in and rush them out the door to where ever it was you promised to take them? The answer---> Mom and Dad will be there to make sure whatever gets done so I can be on my own program. That doesn't work in the real world.

That's not to say that rushing your kids, and telling them to hurry up so you can leave is not/should not be necessary. Sometimes it's absolutely necessary. But in a situation like this, it was one where nothing vital was going to be missed from our absence, and a very necessary lesson was being instilled in our child.

Trust me, lots of tears were had. And this mama did a lot of internal cringing. Sometimes those life lessons are painful. That's life.

Now excuse me while I go yell at the kids to hurry up so we can leave. :)

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