Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Envision exploding grasshopper.

I love nature. But that doesn't mean I want it inhabiting the plant on my dresser and sqeeking all night long. At first I couldn't find the damn thing and then at like 5am I'd just had enough. I turned on the light, which woke up the kids (great), and tore apart the room. It was sitting there having a grand old time rubbing it's legs together.

I don't sleep to begin with. And the two uninterrupted hours I do get are right before the kids wake up. Anneliese has an uncanny knack for waking me like every 45 minutes to nurse. It's really starting to piss me off too. I need sleep. Tonight I'm going to let her cry. (Till I can't stand it anymore and give in!)

Hopefully we will be grasshopperless tonight too.


My mom ended up taking me to get my car last night. Dad's spare key was in it and he needed it for some reason. Anyway, we got to the dealership and it was only $100. Hey, that $20 saved will go in the gas tank. They had all the windows down when they guy drove it out which was weird, but ok. I get in and follow mom to the Factory Stores parking lot and park. And the back window won't go up. Then I notice the light that says it needs a new thingy (I can't remember the name of it) to make it work. I don't know...I'm assuming that they noticed it. They aren't that dense. I hope. Is it just me or is it rude to not at least point that out to me before I have to put my babies in the car and drive an hour home in the 50 degree weather? Of course they were closing right as I left it wouldn't get fixed.

It's just so amazing to me how inconsiderate people can be sometimes.


Wow, this has totally been a bitching session. Sorry all!...

I'm trying to figure out where my little nitch is in life. I keep thinking I should just be happy and content being my kids mom. And my husbands wife. I keep looking outside of this *life* to find something that can fulfill me in some way. Do other moms feel that way? I keep thinking there's something wrong with me. For however long my mom appeared to be perfectly content being a mom and wife. Of course now she's wanting a divorce...but still. Maybe I shouldn't feel guilty after all for wanting something else to my life. Perhaps it's the 24/7 care and feeding of them. And the taking care of the bills. And the cleaning of the house. And the fixing of the car. Sometimes I just want a break and to do something else...

1 comment:

Susan said...

Hey hon, first off, you are not alone in your feelings. Second, find something that's just for you. You have to have something that's not being a wife or a mom. Otherwise you might just lose yourself, then you can't be either. Good luck!