Sunday, July 02, 2006

I had an Epiphany!

I know you're going "Oh my God...what is she talking about..." But bear with me for a minute here.
6 years ago my mom told my dad that she was in love with someone else. And then she moved out of the room. With in the last few years she served my dad divorce papers. He never responded for financial discrepancies...and so it's just be drug out all these years. To the detrament of everyone living here. My youngest brother suffers the most. He just turned 12 and is matured way past his years in some areas and in others he is still around 4 years old. forward to last night. Kevin called and mom answered the phone. She said "Oh hi Bob!...Oh wait...this isn't Bob! I guess you want to talk to your wife huh?" And then she handed me the phone. All the while I was sitting next to her slack-jawed thinking "He is going to be sooooo pissed." He was. Mom thought it was funny. And then not so funny when she realized how mad he was about it. She thought he needs to lighten up. Granted if this had happened back when we were dating Kevin would just have blown it off...but we're married, he's deployed, I'm sure rumors fly with talk of cheating wives. It just wasn't funny.

Mom does stuff like that all the time, thinking that it's funny, and then pouting when you call her on it. And then acting pissed at you for calling her on it.

So then I was thinking about that incident with respect to my parents marriage. I can almost guarantee that she did things similar to that to my dad. In fact...if you think about it, she was unfaithful to him emotionally by getting so emotionally involved with someone else that she fell in love. When I realized that I got so pissed off it woke me from a dead sleep. She fell in love with someone else and then wanted to divorce my dad saying she wasn't getting treated the way she should by him. Slow the train! Who was not getting treated the way he should? Say that again cause I think perhaps I missed something.

All this time I'd been going along believing my mom about everything, that it was my dads fault that the marriage was falling apart. Like she never ever did anything to push him away. Rather than going to my dad about her feelings or whatever she went to someone else to try to get them to fill the void.

So I woke up this morning and ran downstairs to talk to my dad about it. He started crying! I've seen my dad cry like 3 times in my whole life. I finally go what was going on. It makes me so sad. They're both misunderstood. My mom because she is defensive of her behavior, and my dad because he was just heartbroken and didn't know what to he let her go.

Wow. Not such a great Epiphany...but helpful to me to make different decisions in my own marriage and life.


Dominique said...

I thought he gave the papers back and she never filed them.

Celeste said...

ya know...that could be. she told me it was because he wouldn't agree to certain money issues. but then it seems i only ever get one side of the you could be right!

Dominique said...

I like to stay out of it... But she got the papers back with the correct earnings information taken directly from his IRS statements and apparently the numbers she had on the original documents included the money that he had paid out in healthcare expenses for the family written in as earnings and not expenses. Seems like if she wanted out that bad, the whole mess would be over by now.