I spent an hour or so this morning evaluating Anthony's behaviors through the way Dr. Turecki specifies in his book The Difficult Child. When I read through it, it's like reading about someone elses child. It's hard to stand back and have to read these things about your child. Some I wonder are normal and others I know just are not. I am posting it here in hopes that maybe someone might have some input. I'll be taking this evaluation with me to discuss with the doctor. Hopefully she'll have some insight into what can be done, it anything.
Anthony’s Home Evaluation
Has severe tantrums- biting, kicking, screaming, punching, pinching, spitting
-These can range anywhere from 5 minutes to all day.
-They can be brought on by just about anything, ie.
Not wanting to do something
Wanting to do something
Not wanting to leave a place
Wanting to leave a place
Being out in public
A loud noise
The “idea” of something, going to Church is a big trigger
Someone other than Mamma seeing him first thing in the morning
Can not be in public for too long.
-Will go into tantrum mode
-Will get hyperactive
-If motivated while hyperactive (by an adult thinking he’s just playing or another kid being around), will get out of control and go into “overload mode”. This usually leads to a tantrum when being removed from the situation.
-Does inappropriate things, ie
being extremely rude
running around/running away
-If corrected in public he will act out more
-If a stranger corrects him he will do the actions listed above until you remove him from the situation.
Very sensitive to sound
-He’ll cover his ears if something bothers him like the sound of the baby crying, construction work, a loud horn, the organ at church
Very sensitive to touch-
-Hates tags in his clothing
-Won’t wear certain clothes
-Has to have the temperature of the shower adjusted constantly
-Has to be forced to brush his teeth because it hurts
Can not listen/obey-
-Will ask “what?” over and over until you physically show him what you want
-Can not repeat what you have told him to do/not to do
must be shown
-Must by physically removed from situation if he gets out of control, or if he starts going into “overload mode”. He’s incapable of seeing he needs to stop.
Will purposely do things you tell him not to do
-will say he “wants to get hurt”, he “wants” to die, he “wants” to go to jail, etc.
- will spit more if he is spitting, etc.
- will look at you all the while doing what he is not supposed to do. Not necessarily looking for a reaction but sometimes to see someone show him how to do the opposite.
Tantrums in his sleep-
- will thrash around hitting, kicking, screaming as if he were awake
-on two occasions now he has woken me by beating on me while he’s still asleep
- has “bad dreams” often where he argues/fights with someone
Extremely particular about food- what kind, the temperature, where he eats it
-often won’t eat the food he asks for
Must have supervision to do the things he wants to do- even though he knows how and has done these things by himself
-to do his “schoolwork” someone needs to be right there next to him to show him
-needs someone with him at the park to walk around with him
-needs someone to go to the bathroom with him
-needs someone there to help him dress
Needs constant instructions on how to do things, even if it’s something he has done a thousand times before.
Not capable of eye contact-
-must have his face turned to you physically
-Mamma must stand right in his face to make him hear things
Unable to tolerate strangers-
-this is the one time that eye contact with Mamma is necessary to calm him down, keep him under control, make him feel secure.
-runs away from strangers, even people he knows by sight as “family friends”
-will try to escape the situation physically, ie
doctors appointments are very difficult because he is in a safe room and then a stranger comes in to touch him and look at him specifically
-needs convincing to interact
-is on the go from the time he wakes up
-needs constant supervision to keep him from doing something wrong, getting into trouble, walking/running out a door or into the street
-wears a harness in public to keep him under control, or rides in a shopping cart
-sometimes has no fear
Needs constant affirmation-
-that he is doing ok
-that he will be ok
-that he is being heard
Extremely low attention span-
-will almost instantly be distracted from one thing to another.
-must physically be removed from/to situations to get point across, get something done
At the other end of the attention spectrum he can focus on something he wants for quite an extended length of time until a tantrum ensues and it becomes less about the object of his attention and more about being out of control.
-will tell a lie to suit his wants
-will lie about someone telling him something
-tells a lie believing that what he is saying is true